10 lessons I’ve learned from my nail tech. 1 for each finger

I spent another amazing 2 hours with the incredible Lisa Clark today at Lacquered Up Nail Studio (click here to visit their facebook page).  I want to say that something amazing happens when you are intentional about who you choose to work with, get services with, shop with, and surround yourself with.  When choosing my new nail design artist I knew that I wanted to support someone local.  I first heard of Lisa through my sister, who shares my same philosophies about making intentional choices on who you work with.  It took me a while to finally carve time into my schedule to get my nails done regularly.  I had no idea how much my life was going to change as a result of that.  Lisa Clark, nail design artist…AKA…mind blower upper, is the kind of person you must meet and I have 10 reason why….1 for each finger.  Lisa, for the sake of this blog, is going to be the name we use to represent the person in your circle that you can learn from and grow with.

  1. Lisa creates a safe haven for man, woman, and child

The love that Lisa shows to everyone is truly incredible but the most beautiful part is the safe place she creates for the people who struggle with vulnerability the most…..Men and teens.  Unfortunately society has made men feel that sharing their feelings is a sign of weakness.  Brene Brown talks about a man that she met who had told her that the women is his life would rather see him die on his white horse than see him fall and fail.  You show me woman who gives her man a safe place to share his feelings without judgement and I’ll show you a woman who will be taken care of in ways you didn’t know possible.  Same goes for the teens in the world.  Being a teen is the hardest thing in the world.  They are trying so hard to just fit in and be “normal”.  They are trying desperately to fit into the mold that their peers have labeled as acceptable.  Their brains are not fully developed however they appear to be fully functional fully developed human beings.  It’s  a mirage really, an illusion.  Inside they are confused, scared, and un-equipped for the expectations that are bestowed upon them.

2. Lisa loves with her whole being

The love that Lisa shares with the people in her life is insurmountable.  She accepts the best parts of you and the worst parts of you equally.  She recognizes the good, bad, or ugly that is who you are and she loves you for it.  That is a lesson we could all stand to learn.  No one is perfect.  We all make choices from time to time that do not shine a great light on us however it does form and shape us into the person we become.  Lisa will accept every aspect of you but will tell you when you are not being your best self.  Not only will she tell you…she will guide you through the darkness into the light that most flatters you!

3.  Lisa researches her emotions

When Lisa is experiencing a dark emotion she truly dissects it until she figures out where it originates.  When she is angry she truly thinks about where that anger comes from and deals with the source.  She not only admits when she is wrong but she makes it right.  And then she takes the steps necessary to grow in a way that she doesn’t make the same mistake twice.

4.  Lisa recognizes what makes her happy

Lisa is present and recognizes when she is truly experiencing happiness.  No matter what it is.  She finds joy in the little things and is intentional about experiencing that joy.  She finds just as much joy in cooking burgers and drinking beer with her husband as she does getting all gussied up and having a killer night on the town.

5.  Lisa learns from every single person she meets

Every single person that Lisa crosses paths with serves a purpose in her life.  Sometimes the person serves as a someone she strives to be for her own personal growth.  Sometimes that person serves as a student who learns from her own life experiences.  Sometimes that person serves as a bad example…the person she knows she doesn’t want to be.

6.  Lisa asks excellent questions

Good questions get good answers….great questions get great answers…Lisa recognizes this.  Not only does she know that she is going to grow as a result of your answer but she also is genuinely interested in what you have to say.

7.  Lisa lets you know how wonderful you are

For some people telling others how wonderful they think the people around them can be uncomfortable….not for Lisa.  Her words feel like warm hugs wrapped around your whole body.  If you ever need to feel like you are important and that you make a difference in this world…hang out with Lisa

8.  Lisa respects your purpose

No matter what greatness you are trying to pursue Lisa will be your biggest cheerleader. The sole fact that you have a passion to pursue is enough reason for Lisa to encourage you to keep going.

9.  Lisa is not afraid to push you into greatness

Choosing to be your very best self every single day takes a great deal of energy.  It’s hard work but it is worth it.  When the pain and fatigue start to weigh on you Lisa is right there to support you through your time of need.  Most of the time it’s simply words of encouragement that are needed to push you through however Lisa is not afraid to break out the tough love if she sees that’s what you need.

10.  Lisa is Lisa

No matter where you are, who are with, or what you are doing you will always get the same Lisa.  Her true, genuine, beautiful, empathetic, loving, caring self.

 

You never know when you are going to meet your Lisa.  They come in all shapes, sizes, creeds, religions, backgrounds, and occupations.  The key to finding your Lisa is to engage with the people you come accross…your server, your clerk, your mailman, your hairdresser, and most certianly your nail design artist.

 

 

What would happen if you could put Holiday Cheer in an airtight jar?

I was recently reading a really great blog post by Tom Bilyeu from Impact Theory.  It was titled “How to Manufacture Joy”.  Great article.  I will copy and paste it to the end of this blog for your reading pleasure.

It really made me think about the warm fuzzies me and so many others feel during this time of year.  Then that evolved to the thought “why can’t we feel like this all year round?” Which then evolved into “Duh, we can do whatever the hell we want to”.  The fact of the matter is that warm fuzzy feeling we have during the holiday season is nothing more than a conscious decision.  Imagine the happiness that would radiate from us and then eventually radiate onto those around us if we all created that feeling of love, happiness, and joy we have during the holiday season all year-long.

How do you do that you ask?  Well allow me to share!

  1.  Identify when you are experiencing those warm fuzzy feelings. 

While shopping for my loved ones the other day I realized that it is when I see something that makes me think of that loved one that I feel a great sense of joy.  It isn’t the item itself, it isn’t the purchase of the item, but the thinking of the person that gives me that feeling.  It made me realize that when you are doing your day-to-day routine….if you find yourself thinking about someone out of the blue simply texting that person and letting them know is so powerful.  That, in my opinion, is the ultimate gift.

2.   Act on it

After you have identified what gives you those feelings you have to act on creating those situations more frequently.  The holiday season most certainly does not have to be the only time in which you give gifts.  Also, gifts do not always have to be a tangible item.  There is no greater gift in the world than telling someone how amazing they are.  The gift of love and confidence…that’s where it’s at.  That moment that I decided I didn’t care if people thought I was crazy or weird for verbally expressing my thoughts of love, empathy, and compassion was the most freeing moment of my life.   Although I recognize that “words of affirmation” is not everyone’s love language…I know for certain it certainly doesn’t hurt anyone!  Not to mention we are talking about cultivating joy for yourself.  It makes ME feel good to tell others how awesome they are!

3.  Make a mental note of how you are feeling 

It is so important to take note of those warm fuzzy feelings.  When you recognize the actions that give you that feeling you are more likely to continue with those actions.  The more you give the more you get….it’s a never-ending cycle of warm fuzziness!  It is the epitome of having a jar in your brain that you can dip into whenever you need a dose of the warm fuzzies.

What it boils down to is being present….being on purpose….being INTENTIONAL.  Who are the most important people in your life.   Is it family, friends, co-workers, leaders, service providers???  Who makes you the person you are?  Those are the people you will start with.  Then let it spread like wildflowers!!

 

 

Here is the blog post I mentioned earlier.  I was titled how to manufacture joy

Dear Impactivists,

Let’s talk about holiday cheer for a second because I think it gets at one of my major life strategies.

I rarely think about this because it’s become so automatic for me, but it’s incredibly powerful.

What I’m about to break down for you in the guise of holiday cheer is actually what I also credit with keeping my marriage awesome nearly 20 years in.

Before we dive in, here’s the punchline: You can manufacture authentic emotions.

I’m not religious at all, but Christmas is by far my favorite time of year. Why? Because it’s a time of year where the whole world has decided they’re going to allow themselves to feel joyful even though it’s literally the coldest, darkest time of year.

If I had to guess, that’s exactly why so many cultures have massive mid-winter celebrations. They needed something to combat the emotional doldrums that come with the winter weather.

What I want you all to take away from that though is that simply saying “It’s time to party” can shift your emotional state. Once you buy into the fact that you can simply shift your emotional state with the addition of an external thing like a party, then it’s one more small step to buy into the fact that you can shift your emotional state, well, just because.

Once you realize that you can shift your mental state simply by deciding to, that’s when the world of emotional control will open up before you.

Here’s how it goes:

Step 1: Decide to Change

First, you need to decide that you’re going to shift your emotional state. This can be born from the realization that you’re not in a good emotional state, or it can be for something like increasing your level of excitement around achieving your goals.

Step 2: Choose Your Target

Once you know you want to change you need to decide what it is EXACTLY that you want to feel.

What’s the goal here? Are you trying to get amped about what you’re creating? Trying to really embody gratitude? Remember how much you love your significant other?

Whatever it is, get clarity around it. Set your intention.

Step 3: Focus Your Attention

Remember: you get what you focus on. If you’re focusing on negative stuff, you’re going to fill with negative emotions. Conversely, if you focus on positive stuff, you’re going to fill with positive emotions.

It really is that simple.

So if you’re trying to fill yourself with love for your significant other or excitement for your goal, then focus your attention INTENSELY on what it is about that thing that excites you.

I’ll give you an example from my own life. I hate the gym, but honestly most times I don’t even think about it. On days when it’s getting to me, I think about how awesome it is to look good naked, or how dope it is to be strong – or my personal favorite – the thought of living forever.

Once I’m refilled with excitement for that outcome, I find it very easy to start pushing hard again.

Step 4: Self-Signal

Alright, this is the advanced class portion. If you really want to supercharge your emotional state, surround yourself with things that continually reinforce that feeling.

Christmas is the perfect example. My house looks like we should be selling tickets. There are lights, trees, and Christmas music everywhere. Everywhere you turn, you’re greeted with things that reinforce the joyfulness of the season.

For Lisa and I it really is a magical wonderland. We watch Christmas movies, wear Christmas clothing, and dance every chance we get. All of that continually reinforces the feelings that we want to have.

And there you have it, my systematic way of manufacturing joy. Even I have to laugh at the way that sounds. I don’t leave anything to chance – least of all my emotional state. I just hope that this breakdown helps you not only have a more jolly holiday season, but a more jolly life in general.

Mad love to all of you at this wonderful time of year! Until next time, my friends, be legendary.

– Tom