Your words are far more powerful than you think

I was running around like a mad woman cleaning my apartment and listening to Kesha’s newest album (which has been my obsession since this past summer btw) and for whatever reason I began to think about how important it is to tell the people around us the impact they’ve had on our lives.  Actually, any person that has ever said anything, done anything, or acted in any way that struck a chord with you…that made you behave differently as a result of seeing or hearing them do it….They need to know it.  If you got the warm fuzzy feeling from them or have respect for them or something they did…TELL THEM!

I was thinking about one of my many conversations with my badass lash girl, Amanda (check her out here) Amanda is a young, gorgeous, ambitious, badass of a woman who for whatever reason has had the hardest time finding her person.  I firmly believe that it is going to take one hell of a man to handle her level of badassery.  He is going to have to have confidence coming out of his ass for sure.  He is going to have to be living at her level…which in her age group (29) is hard to find.  The beautiful thing is though, that when they find each other, brace yourself people….it is going to be a love that this world may have never seen before.  It is going to be so passionate that it is going to re-ignite all of the weakening flames of the relationships around them.

Anyhoo….Amanda was telling me about a guy that she had dated that was kind and thoughtful enough to actually have a conversation with her when he felt that the passion was just not there between the 2 of them.  This relationship ended quite a while ago but she never forgot how awesome it was for him to do that rather than the “ghosting” that is constantly happening with the other twats she dates.  She knew how important it was for him to know what a quality trait this is to have.  She went out of her way to reach out to him months and months after that relationship had ended simply to let him know what  an awesome person he was.  For no other reason than because he need to hear it.   Imagine how that is going to make this man arrive in the world for the next woman in his life.  She taught him something.  Because she spoke up…he is going to have an amazing impact on the next woman in his life because of the confidence she gave him.

The fact is that it is really fucking hard to be a human being.  No matter who you are, or what you do…life is hard.  When someone takes the time out of their day to tell you that you had a positive impact of their lives…even for just a single moment in time…that feels so awesome….it is like a big tight hug on your heart.  It creates the inertia neccessary to travel this really rocky road called life.

It makes me think about a few people who I went to high school with that came out and told me they had crushes on me way back when.  I had spent the majority of my life thinking that I was not good enough.  That I added no value to anything or anyone.  It took me many many years to realize that.  I was making up stories in my head as we all do.  However, if I had known when I was in my awkward teenage years that these people actually even noticed me maybe I would’ve come to that realization sooner.  I know…I know…what other people think of us has absolutely no effect on our self worth…but we were not all born with that mindset.  We are not all surrounded by people that let us know that we are good enough.  If someone tells me a story or just does something that I think is awesome whether I know them or not I make it a point to tell them.

One of my favorite TedTalks which is very short but very powerful really explains it best and I will leave you with that.  Everyday Leadership by Drew Dudley

If this blog hit your warm fuzzy feeling button please share it and like it!

Intentionally Lola, Dopamine Dealer. Here’s my card

Hey kids, I’ve got something for you. You are going to love the way it makes you feel. I’m going to give you just a little taste of it now. Go tell all your friends about it and then come back and see me when you’re ready for more.

What is it that you’re getting a taste of you ask? It’s called dopamine and I’ve got the good stuff! I’ve been getting my supply from people around the world but I just got my biggest and best supply to date and I am willing to share it with you. There’s a catch though. You have to take it and share it with your friends.

Here ya go, open your mind wide and say ahhhhhhh. Here’s a taste.

You know that thing that you’ve been wanting to do? You hear that voice in your head that keeps nagging you about what you really WANT to do in your life? Well, today is the day. Today is the day that you start making that shit happen and stop waiting for the right time. That “right time” is never going to come.

Today is the day that you start seeking out the other people in the world that have done what you are wanting to do. They are out there but here’s the thing…you have to find them. Find them, talk to them, ask them questions, and then implement their suggestions. Then go back and ask them more questions….not until you have used all the information they gave you last time though. Nothing is going to annoy a great mentor more than a person asking for help and then them not taking action on it.

Find out what books they’re reading. Find out what podcasts and TED-talks they are listening to….then you read those books….you listen to those podcasts and TED-talks. Then start doing the things they are doing. Here’s the thing…because you have a different personality, different look, different style…you could try to do things exactly like that other person but it will be a little different because it will be coming from you. You are going to put your own unique spin on it and maybe even make it better than the original.

Surround yourself with the people you want to be like….that’s how you make shit happen. BAM! I know you’re gonna run out of that little supply I gave you but you know where to find me….I’ll be here and I can give you even more next time. You just let me know how much you’ll need and I will make sure you get plenty. Make sure you share it with your friends too though. They will love it just as much as you do!!!

Self-made is fiction

You often hear the word self-made when people talk about their successes. They worked hard, worked diligently, they did what ever they had to do to succeed.  While I absolutely believe that they worked hard, diligently, and did whatever that had to do to succeed…the self-made part…meaning they did all alone.  I’m calling bullshit on that one.  No one ever gets to the top alone.  Everyone finds help along the way.

Over the past 8 years or so I have really been on purpose to find the coaches in my life.  People that I want to be like.  Most of these people I have chosen as a coach have no idea I even exist.  Through the gift of technology I am able to follow their paths through audiobooks, podcasts, tedtalks, or the like.  I have also had many coaches who definitely knew of my existence but may not have known they were my coach.  One in particular was one that created my existence.  My Father.  There are no words in any language that could express the amount of gratitude I have for my Father.  He has taught me so many things and I am forever grateful for him.

Throughout life I have found that I have had a series of coaches.  Some that until just recently I didn’t even think of as a coach.  It wasn’t until I heard where the word coach was derived from in that wonderful book “The 15 invaluable Laws of Growth” by John Maxwell that I recognized it.  The word Coach comes from the horse-drawn coaches that were created in the 1500’s in the German village Kotsche.  Coaches were originally created to transport royalty.  In time they would also carry valuables, mail, and common passengers.  Today the word is defined as someone or something that carries a valued person from where they are to where they want to be.  If you have a coach you know you will end up at your desired location.

I have many coaches for many different things.  Some are life long coaches and some are coaches for only a moment.  My very first coach in my career was the Co-owner of the salon I worked for nearly 13 years, Stephen Wake.  He took me and my career to place I didn’t even know was possible.  He had a gift of creating a vision.  I am not sure if he is aware of the impact he has made on me and my life but I hope to someday have the opportunity to show him.  The other is the other co-owner of that salon, Tricia Wake.  Tricia taught me how to value and accept the differences in people.  She taught me that not everyone learns the same.  She taught how to coach people on an individual level.

Some of my current coaches are John Maxwell, Brene Brown, Simon Sinek, and many more.  None of these people know of my existence but I go out of my way to listen to their words and incorporate their missions as my own.  My current in person coach is Bennie Pollard.  I have reached new heights professionally and personally as a result of having this man in my life.  He has created a team of coaches and leaders that I admire, respect ,and strive to be.

When it comes to reaching your goals no matter what those goals are, keep in mind you did not get there alone.  It was through research that you found through the successes and failures of others.  It was through the motivation of those that have done it before you and it was through that one or more people seeing your value and helping you get where are you today.

You did not do it alone…you are not self-made and the moment you realize that you open yourself up to greater growth and greater potential.  When you realize that it was through the help of others that you are where you are, you will begin to seek out more coaches to get you even further.

The most successful people know that there is always someone to learn from.  If you are at the very top of your class you are in the wrong class…you should always put yourself in a circle of people who are smarter and stronger than you.  That is the only way to ensure that you keep growing.

I would love to know who your coaches are.  If you need help finding coaches I be happy to help you find them if I am able to.

Please like and share this so we can reach as many people as possible.  I am constantly seeking out new coaches and would love to hear from as many people as possible in order to find them.