Your words are far more powerful than you think

I was running around like a mad woman cleaning my apartment and listening to Kesha’s newest album (which has been my obsession since this past summer btw) and for whatever reason I began to think about how important it is to tell the people around us the impact they’ve had on our lives.  Actually, any person that has ever said anything, done anything, or acted in any way that struck a chord with you…that made you behave differently as a result of seeing or hearing them do it….They need to know it.  If you got the warm fuzzy feeling from them or have respect for them or something they did…TELL THEM!

I was thinking about one of my many conversations with my badass lash girl, Amanda (check her out here) Amanda is a young, gorgeous, ambitious, badass of a woman who for whatever reason has had the hardest time finding her person.  I firmly believe that it is going to take one hell of a man to handle her level of badassery.  He is going to have to have confidence coming out of his ass for sure.  He is going to have to be living at her level…which in her age group (29) is hard to find.  The beautiful thing is though, that when they find each other, brace yourself people….it is going to be a love that this world may have never seen before.  It is going to be so passionate that it is going to re-ignite all of the weakening flames of the relationships around them.

Anyhoo….Amanda was telling me about a guy that she had dated that was kind and thoughtful enough to actually have a conversation with her when he felt that the passion was just not there between the 2 of them.  This relationship ended quite a while ago but she never forgot how awesome it was for him to do that rather than the “ghosting” that is constantly happening with the other twats she dates.  She knew how important it was for him to know what a quality trait this is to have.  She went out of her way to reach out to him months and months after that relationship had ended simply to let him know what  an awesome person he was.  For no other reason than because he need to hear it.   Imagine how that is going to make this man arrive in the world for the next woman in his life.  She taught him something.  Because she spoke up…he is going to have an amazing impact on the next woman in his life because of the confidence she gave him.

The fact is that it is really fucking hard to be a human being.  No matter who you are, or what you do…life is hard.  When someone takes the time out of their day to tell you that you had a positive impact of their lives…even for just a single moment in time…that feels so awesome….it is like a big tight hug on your heart.  It creates the inertia neccessary to travel this really rocky road called life.

It makes me think about a few people who I went to high school with that came out and told me they had crushes on me way back when.  I had spent the majority of my life thinking that I was not good enough.  That I added no value to anything or anyone.  It took me many many years to realize that.  I was making up stories in my head as we all do.  However, if I had known when I was in my awkward teenage years that these people actually even noticed me maybe I would’ve come to that realization sooner.  I know…I know…what other people think of us has absolutely no effect on our self worth…but we were not all born with that mindset.  We are not all surrounded by people that let us know that we are good enough.  If someone tells me a story or just does something that I think is awesome whether I know them or not I make it a point to tell them.

One of my favorite TedTalks which is very short but very powerful really explains it best and I will leave you with that.  Everyday Leadership by Drew Dudley

If this blog hit your warm fuzzy feeling button please share it and like it!

This is what happened when technology failed me…again

In my quest to change the way the beauty industry is viewed by empowering new and seasoned stylists to earn the respect they so greatly deserve I was presenting at a local cosmetology school.  I do this by teaching the importance of how you show up in the world.  The night before I made sure I was completely prepared by testing out my projector, hooking up my laptop, and doing my presentation.  Of course as luck would have it when I got to the school and hooked everything up…. nothing ..zilch …nada.  Nothing worked.  I had to get creative….I had to rely on my story telling to get me through my 1.5 hour presentation.

After the presentation the students willingly gave me feedback telling me they enjoyed this class so much more than my past presentations.  It was my vulnerability and my engagement with them they really enjoyed.  I was very thankful for the feedback since I had another presentation at the same school later that evening.  When I arrived I had made the decision to not even try to use technology.  I was incredibly nervous because I realized that 1/2 of the class was comprised of the same students I had presented to earlier.  I thought it was going be a whole new class.  The story I had going through my head was that these students were thinking “great, I have to listen to her babble on again for another 1.5 hours”.  What the truth actually was though is they were completely engaged.

When I left there I felt really good about everything.  I felt that my message was well received…the next day…I had gotten an email telling me just how well received it really was.

“Hello, my name is Danielle. I was at HP Collage in Dekalb Tuesday night getting my hair done by my sister while you were guest speaking to the class. I know the speech wasn’t intended for me, but I feel as though I was meant to be there and hear you talk. I am at work right now, still trying to process and reflect on everything you said. What stood out the most to me is “fake it until you become it”, that hit me personally because I struggle with self-confidence. I always imagine a way I’d like to “appear” to others, but never was able to work up the courage to become that person. Well, this morning I woke up early, curled my hair, put on my brightest red lipstick and went to the back of my closet and pulled out a pair of heels I bought 6 months ago and had yet to wear them. I try them on almost every day… but they never made it out the door, until today. Today I am dressed the way I want to be seen from head to toe and I feel amazing. Walking into work was a little awkward, but I was flooded with compliments. I can’t explain to you how good I feel. I can’t wait to see what my future holds. I just needed to thank you and make sure you knew that you did this. You successfully changed a life over-night. My goal is to write down things I remember so I can keep reflecting and putting your words into my everyday life. Thank you Gina, thank you thank you.”

As much as she thinks my words changed her life….her words changed mine.  This made me think about one of my favorite Ted Talks.  How telling someone the impact you had on their life effects you.  Because Danielle went out of her way to share that with me has given me the confidence to pursue this mission that I am on full strength!!! Danielle has now became a leader herself….first, this new lease on life she has is going to inspire and empower those around her to do the same….second, because she sent that email my mission has gotten greater and I will continue to change the lives of others….SHE DID THAT.  A leader is defined as a person who guides or directs.  Well Danielle is definitely keeping me in the direction of greatness.

I am a firm believer in the power of the universe.  A dear friend gave me this great little box of inspirational quotes and daily motivators. Yesterday here is the one I pulled…it gave me chills.  “You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you” by Bryan Tracy.  EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU HAS THE POWER OF GREATNESS.  Are you showing it to the world?  Put yourself in a position in which you cannot be ignored. How do you do that?  You look your absolute best…if you put on an outfit in the morning and your thought is “meh, it will do”…BURN THAT SHIT.  It does not belong in your closet.  Get a killer haircut, do your makeup, smell irresistible, only wear something that you know you look fucking amazing in.  Make eye contact, shake hands, smile, use killer dialogue, stand up straight, be on time, and have a great attitude.  If you are not confident enough to do these things…..fake it, fake it every damn day until one day you realize you’re not faking it…you have just become that confident!!!

Please share this with everyone you know!!!  Shit, share it with everyone you don’t know too!  You never know who might be reading that needs to hear these exact words!