Beating the urge to give up on your New Years resolution

It happens so often that January 1st rolls around and we make all of these New Year’s resolutions and we are totally gung ho…we are going to make some serious life changes.  For the first week or 2 you are killing it…week 3 rolls around and you’re faced with an obstacle here and there but you are still full steam ahead….there is nothing that is going to stand in your way.  Week 4 a few more obstacles…you’re still determined but you can start to feel the wind in your sails depleting.  Come February you begin to justify somethings in your mind as to why this resolution just wasn’t for you.  Doubt, disappointment, and feelings of failure start to cloud your mind.  Before you know it you’ve convinced yourself that you are unable to live up to the resolutions that you made.  Is this a scenario you can identify with?

I can relate to this in so many ways.  Although I create resolutions throughout the year I run into so many obstacles that will trigger me into feelings of self doubt and making up stories in my head.  What I have learned though is that is this is when true grit must come into play.  This is where vulnerability is essential.  I want you to remember one thing…THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SELF-MADE….NO ONE CAN DO IT ALONE.  Sometimes you need a little help from you friends, mentors, leaders, and/or coaches.

When you originally made that resolution who or what were you inspired by?  Seek that person or that object out.  Recognize that the results that were created by this person, place, or thing were not created over night.  It was ups and downs, trials and errors, successes and failures that eventually led to what you were inspired by.  Keep in mind that as I am sharing this with you I am repeating this to myself as well.

Just yesterday I had reached out to my mentor and shared my feelings of being lost and struggling with how to move forward in my mission to change the world one head at a time.  It took that outside perspective to not only give me the guidance that I needed but also hold me accountable for all of my best of intentions that I wasn’t really giving my all to.  After having about a 1 hour conversation I feel like I am back on track.  Had I let my fears take the wheel and not reached out to someone who has traveled down this road before I may have given up or fallen so off course that it could have set me back years.

It is completely ridiculous to think that you can achieve the ultimate level of greatness completely by yourself.  You need guidance you, you need accountability, you need a cheerleader.  It doesn’t always mean having a live person with you at all times…it means reading a book on how to do what you want to do.  If you want to be a millionaire…you read books written by people that have made millions…If you want to have a healthy diet you read a book written by someone who eats a healthy diet…If you want to be incredibly physically fit you read a book by someone who has become incredibly physically fit.  Or you watch videos of people accomplishing these things.  Find a mentor or a leader that you can reach out to.  There other thing to remember is that finding a mentor does not always mean the CEO of the company….you work your way from the bottom.  The person that knows just one more thing than you do then work your way up.  Here is the secret though…you’ll want to sit down for this.  Are you ready???  After you read these books or learn from these mentors you actually have to act on these things…you have to do the work!

Now is the time to do it…don’t let that resolution slip away!  You can do ANYTHING AND I MEAN ANYTHING.  It’s not easy but it is worth it.  That feeling of accomplishment and growth that you will experience is one of the greatest feelings in the world.  Every step forward is a step in the right direction no matter how big or small the step!

Find your mentor, put your lessons into action, become the best possible version of yourself.  Please share this with anyone and everyone that this could potentially help in their pursuit of greatness

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Intentionally Lola, Dopamine Dealer. Here’s my card

Hey kids, I’ve got something for you. You are going to love the way it makes you feel. I’m going to give you just a little taste of it now. Go tell all your friends about it and then come back and see me when you’re ready for more.

What is it that you’re getting a taste of you ask? It’s called dopamine and I’ve got the good stuff! I’ve been getting my supply from people around the world but I just got my biggest and best supply to date and I am willing to share it with you. There’s a catch though. You have to take it and share it with your friends.

Here ya go, open your mind wide and say ahhhhhhh. Here’s a taste.

You know that thing that you’ve been wanting to do? You hear that voice in your head that keeps nagging you about what you really WANT to do in your life? Well, today is the day. Today is the day that you start making that shit happen and stop waiting for the right time. That “right time” is never going to come.

Today is the day that you start seeking out the other people in the world that have done what you are wanting to do. They are out there but here’s the thing…you have to find them. Find them, talk to them, ask them questions, and then implement their suggestions. Then go back and ask them more questions….not until you have used all the information they gave you last time though. Nothing is going to annoy a great mentor more than a person asking for help and then them not taking action on it.

Find out what books they’re reading. Find out what podcasts and TED-talks they are listening to….then you read those books….you listen to those podcasts and TED-talks. Then start doing the things they are doing. Here’s the thing…because you have a different personality, different look, different style…you could try to do things exactly like that other person but it will be a little different because it will be coming from you. You are going to put your own unique spin on it and maybe even make it better than the original.

Surround yourself with the people you want to be like….that’s how you make shit happen. BAM! I know you’re gonna run out of that little supply I gave you but you know where to find me….I’ll be here and I can give you even more next time. You just let me know how much you’ll need and I will make sure you get plenty. Make sure you share it with your friends too though. They will love it just as much as you do!!!

Why empathy is crucial to intentional living

When I made the decision to live an intentional life I was met by much resistance from many of the people closest to me.  I realized because I made the decision to move forward and it did not benefit them I appeared to be selfish as I was “leaving them behind”.  I was called cold and heartless by the people I loved most and the people I thought loved me the most.  It was a very painful time for me but I had to keep moving forward.  I knew that the last thing I could be described as is a heartless person therefore this had nothing to do with me so much as it did with them.

It was around that same time that I had heard something that changed the way I connected with people from that day forward.  “Everyone thinks they are the good guy”.  So simple but so profound.  In every situation no matter the person, the circumstance, or the subject….every person involved believes that what they are doing the right thing.  From that moment forward I always put myself in that persons shoes.  This helped me identify and connect with people on a deeper plain.

Empathy, the act of understanding and knowing how another person feels has helped me in moving forward easier.  When I look back at that time in my life I can now fully understand why they gave me so much resistance.  Their life was changing without their permission.  They were scared.  It was fear of the unknown that caused them to react the way they did.  There is nothing I could do about that however just knowing why has really helped me.

I share this with you in hopes that it will help you understand why people do the things they do.  It is important that you do not change your course as a result of their actions rather make your course smoother as you will have a greater understanding as to why they feel the way they do.

Next time you find yourself putting a label on someone…”oh, she’s crazy…or he’s an asshole”…whatever it is…take a moment and try to see things from their perspective. Very often it is either a person’s fear or fearlessness that we are labeling…not the person themselves.  It is their behavior that we are seeing which is as result of something bigger. It has nothing to do with who that person is at their innermost core rather what obstacles they are currently facing…that is what we are seeing and labeling.

I invite you to use an empathetic approach today.  You will find that you stay much calmer when you are faced with obstacles.  Please share those stories with me!