Many people know that I spend much of my time evolving myself and my company. Anytime you are growing as a person or as a business for that matter you are often times met with resistance from those around you. Let’s face it, change can be difficult. The change is even more difficult when you yourself have no control over the change of another person. As I go through this evolution process I have come across so many “standards” or what is considered “normal”. This is something I really can’t wrap my head around. Who sets these standards? Who decided what normal is? I feel that social media only perpetuates this notion of “normalcy” in which in my opinion is not a standard in which we can all measure ourselves. My normal and your normal are 2 completely different things. Sometimes…our “normals” are a sink full of dishes, an un-showered body, laundry piled up, and you laying on the couch watching bad reality TV. Guess what…that is your normal for that moment. The next day may be a spotless house, you looking like you’re about to walk a runway, and a 5 course meal being prepared. What I am getting at is this “normal” standard that basically makes us feel like failures is not OUR normal. Your normal is what makes you feel at peace. Your normal is the behavior that allows you to be at your very best not only for yourself but also for the people you love and care about most. Referencing last months newsletter the only way we can really be great is to allow ourselves to be seen as who we truly are. To allow ourselves to be vulnerable and show people we are not perfect however we are doing the best that we can. So, I challenge you to find, own, and exhibit your own “normal” whatever that might look like! You will be a happier, more relaxed person therefore you will be at your very best.
I have the privilege of being a guest artist for many of the cosmetology schools in the area. My presentation is really more business related as they have artists coming in all the time showing cut and color. I talk more about personal branding, building and keeping clientele, and tracking your success. Part of being great is aligning yourself with the right people. Finding a coach to support you and push you further than you can push yourself. I equate it to having a personal trainer…If you have worked with a personal trainer you know first hand how they will push you much much further than you would ever push yourself. I feel like the same can be said for your personal life too. Finding a coach, someone you can emulate to make you greater. I have SOOOO many coaches…most of whom not only have no idea they are my coach but also have no clue I even exist!!! Brene Brown, Zig Ziglar, and John Paul Dejoria just to name a few. However, many of you are my coaches as well. People that I have the pleasure of talking to on a regular basis. Surrounding yourself with people that you admire and want to be like, in my opinion, can be considered your coach. Anyone that makes you want to be better…is a coach. I have so many people ask me how is it that I am so happy all of the time. The truth is, when I feel like I am struggling and just having a difficult time dealing with what life throws at me the first question I ask myself is “do I have any control over this situation”? More times than not the answer is no so I make the decision to leave it to the universe to handle. Many times I struggle with releasing control of these situations and this is when I turn to my coaches. TedTalks is where I find myself turning when I just cant find the answer. This is where many of my coaches live. We have coaches throughout our entire lives when it comes to education and careers…Our teachers, athletic coaches, our professors, our managers/bosses…but what about matters of the heart. Who are those coaches? It’s just important to be great in our personal relationships as it is with our business. Life is hard. There are so many ups and downs. It is impossible for us to rely solely on ourselves to handle these trying times gracefully. We all have weak moments, we all have our failing moments…Do not waste the pain of those moments…seek out your coach to get you through and come out at the end of the game as a true champion.
I will leave you with this TedTalk from Brene Brown. This one 20 minute video changed my life and changed the way I chose to live my life. Enjoy!
The other day I was able to witness something so beautiful and heartwarming I started crying right in the middle of a haircut. A woman was getting her hair shampooed and received a call from her son saying that he was accepted into his #2 choice of schools. This came just after hearing that he was not accepted into his #1 choice which hit him and his mother pretty hard. The emotion that was exchanged on that phone call was amazing. She was so happy and so incredibly emotional she couldn’t help but just start crying…and as a result….I too was crying. The hardest part for her was being locked into a still position as she was trapped and the basin with a head full of suds!!! All she wanted to do, and you could feel it, was jump out of that chair and run around screaming “HE GOT IN”. The funny part about this is she was talking about how it had been such a bad day just before receiving the call. I recently saw a quote that was so perfect for this moment and it tied into so many other things in my life. “Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place”. This kid was devastated that he was not accepted by his 1st choice of school but after hearing all the pros of the 2nd choice it sounded like it was the best thing that could’ve happened. This really confirmed a philosophy that I have recently started living by. The universe has a plan so just relax and let it do its work. So many things are out of our control so let’s not waste a moment of time worrying about it. One way or another it all works out so take that energy that you used to spend worrying and use it spreading love and joy to all those around you. XOXO
This past weekend I was presented with a major challenge after one of our salon apprentices quit unexpectedly. This was a young woman that I had put a lot of time, energy, and money into training. I was blindsided as she left for what she called “an opportunity she couldn’t pass up”. As a woman who has been in this industry for 20 years I knew better than that, however, it was what she believed at 19 years old. This ended being a very positive experience for me.
I want to give a little backstory before I explain why something so devastating could be so positively impactful. It was around this time 2 years ago that I made the decision to live a very intentional life. I know that I have always worked on growing but now I do it in a much more intentional way. When I began this journey the fear of the unknown would torment me. Thankfully, I was always a big enough risk taker that I would make the leap anyhow but not without extreme anxiety. I have spent the past 2 years letting go of that anxiety and just making the leap knowing no matter what the outcome will be it will end up working itself out in the end.
Now back to the positive take away from losing my apprentice. Even though I knew we will now be even more short staffed than we already were at the salon which in turn puts even more pressure on the entire staff I calmly accepted this young woman’s resignation. After leaving the meeting with her I realized that I didn’t feel any fear or anxiety. I simply accepted it and immediately implemented the steps necessary to fill the position.
This was such a beautiful moment for me. I had actually seen the strength and growth that I have worked so hard to achieve over the past 2 years. Something that I have worked so hard for was actually now right on the palm of my hand, so to speak. This was an amazingly empowering moment for me. I had always thought that I was capable of anything that I wanted bad enough…now I know I am.
I share this with you because at the end of the day I am just a girl with a burning desire to be a great leader. If I, some small town girl, can do this ANYONE can do it. I will leave you with this riddle
5 frogs sat on a log. 4 decided to jump off. How many are left?
5….there is a difference between deciding to do something and actually doing it.
Thank you John Maxwell for that profound little tidbit!!!!
If you guys took a gander at my “about me” section of this delicious little blog site then you know that it was at 39 years old that I seriously changed the direction of my life. 39 years is all the life my mother ever lived after being killed in a car accident. I was 17 at the time. At 17 you think 39 is old. Well as I crept closer and closer to 39 I could not stop thinking “oh my god, this is all the life she has EVER lived’. Truth be told I have lived far more life than my Mother ever did. I have traveled more than she, studied personal development more than she, delved into different cultures more than she. My Mother was an incredible, caring, funny, beyond beautiful woman but she really didn’t live much life…who knows maybe if she was here today she would tell you differently however from my perspective she was very sheltered. As I crept closer to that 39 year mark I realized that there is zero guarantee of the next moment in your life. The only guarantee is the exact moment you are living in so you better make the absolute most of it. As I looked around I found myself living a life that I was not happy with and it was at that moment that I made a decision…a decision to live an intentional life. I was married to a man that I had grown apart from. This moment of clarity came days before our 13th anniversary. It was just 2 years before that he had had an affair and turned my world upside down. Although at the time of his affair I can certainly say that I was not happy in my marriage but I thought that I could trust more than anyone. We had married after only 8 weeks of knowing each other and we were very much in love. After about 10 years of what I would call a really great marriage this started to change as I was moving up in my career. I really began to focus on personal development, leadership, and intense goal planning. My husband (at the time) was very happy exactly where he was and had no intention of growing….or if he did have the intention he didn’t have the follow through. That was when we started growing apart. It had become very clear to me that he could never truly give me what I needed from a partner but I trusted him incessantly. I was willing to forego all of the other attributes that I would love to have in a partner knowing that I had that strong element of trust. In 2012 that trust was destroyed as I learned he had an affair. Next to my mothers untimely demise it was the 2nd most devastating moment of my life. I had no idea that such physical pain could come from heartbreak. After a little time he had convinced me to try again. I will never forget the words he used to give it another go. “It will never be the same as it was but it could be something better”. I was beyond intriguing to me and honestly 100% true. It could have been something better….if things had changed. Over the course of the next 2 years things just never really got better. I knew that they never would but I was really putting my energy into my career. Fast forward to the looming 39th birthday and everything flipped like a switch. I realized that if god forbid something happened to me and my life came to an end I would have felt very unfulfilled. I made a decision to start living the life that I wanted to live and it had to start with getting out of a marriage that was not good for either of us. I made the decision to separate and very soon after…divorce. I quickly moved to a town that I had been dreaming if living for as long as I could remember…but the “time was never right”. I put that in quotes because one of the things I have learned is that the time is never right but you do it anyway and it all comes together…which is exactly what happened.
I share this story with you in hopes that if you have found yourself in a situation in which you are not happy it CAN be fixed. Whatever the situation is it can be changed. You either have to remove yourself from the situation or change your mindset about the situation. Very often I have found that simply changing my approach or the way I think about something fixes the problem. Please share with me some of the challenges you are facing. Please comment below. I would love to be the neutral party that could possibly help you get through a trying time.