My superpower and how it can serve you

Today I got to enjoy a snowday and it changed me. It brought me one step closer to my life’s purpose…I am certain of it. Today I was supposed to be at the gym at 5 a.m., do a presentation at 9:30 am, and then meet my accountant at 1:30 pm to go over budgeting and projections for next year. Thanks to the baby blizzard we had here in Northern Illinois I instead was able to sleep in, lay in bed, listen to podcasts, watch my inspirational videos, and process how they speak to my soul (still got to the gym in the evening though). I was able to just be still…mind, body, and soul. This is something we all need on a regular basis. It is in that stillness that we either are re-acquainted with our life’s purpose or where we see it for the first time.
From a fairly young age I felt that I was destined for something bigger than the life I was living. There was just this burning desire for something more…I have no idea what that more was though. I just knew that the small town that I lived in, the lack of direction I had, and the choices I was making were not what I was meant for.
1994 was a big year for me…not a good one but a big one. I was 3 months pregnant and due to marry my unborn child’s father 2 days after my Mother was killed in her tragic car accident. The following 3 months of my pregnancy were hard. Very hard. Neither my 17 year old self of my 20 year old husband were fit to be partners or parents for that matter. We had no idea how to support one another emotionally. He was still living the life of a 20 year old…partying with all his buddies, messing around with girls, and living his life the way he wanted to live it. I don’t resent him in anyway…we were children…what the hell did we know. While he was out living it up I was on a downward spiral. My Mother, whom I was very close with, had just been ripped away from me and my 11 year old brother. My brother Ryan and I were both at a place where we NEEDED our Mother. I know for certain that if it weren’t for my daughter I would have killed myself. I dreamt of suicide daily. I hated myself, I hated my life, and I hated the universe for taken my Mother away. I was so lonely, angry, and completely lost. But I had a child growing inside of me…I couldn’t take her life…and I knew that when she was born she would need me. I now believe she was given to me to get me through the most excrutiating time of my life.
I am thankful for all the people in my life that tried so hard to give me direction and support. My Mother-In-Law Sheila and my Father-In-Law Ray…they took me in as if I was their own. My best friends parents, Grandma Nancy and Papa Wayne…they were always my 2nd family. Last but certainly not least my Father Ivan and my Step-Mother Terri. They tried so hard to connect with me and guide me but it was not until years later that I was at a place that I could see and accept that.
I can remember 5 years into my marriage realizing this was not the life for me. Ironically that came at a time that my husband at the time was ready to settle down. He was ready to give me everything that I needed all along…but it was too late. I saw a life out there…and I was ready to live it. I had definitely gone through a period of wild, erratic, and, self destructive behavior. It was a dark period. I was 23…I had no one to answer to…I had no direction what so ever. I was lost. Thankfully my Dad never gave up on me even though I am certain there were hundreds of times we wanted to. Dad!!!! Thank you for not giving up on me!!! Thank you thank you thank you….a million times thank you!
It was my Dad and my Step Mother that pointed me in the direction of the beauty industry. They knew I needed a trade and doing hair and makeup was always something I enjoyed. I think at the time I was just like “ok, that sounds like fun” so I jumped in. They supported me through the entire process. They saw me evolve from this quiet sheepish young girl into this pierced, tattooed, mohawk having, wild one.
I met my 2nd husband around the same time that I started my career. We quickly merged our families, moved in together, and married. I think we were together for 8 weeks before we said our vows. That marriage served as a period of growth for me. I evolved and he was happy where he was. We grew apart and he had an affair. I recognize that we were not giving each other what the other needed. He simply made the decision to go find it somewhere else. Although I was very unhappy in our marriage and knew that we would likely never stand the test of time the pain of betrayal was still one of the greatest pains I had ever experienced. I knew that he could never offer me financial stability, he could never push me to be better, he could never be the partner I needed…but I was CERTAIN that I could trust him in matters of the heart…I will remember the day that I realized I was wrong for the rest of my life. Although my heart has been put back together and it is stronger than ever it bears an immense scar that will unfortunately never go away.
These are simply a few of the most devastating blows that I have experienced in my life. This does not even scratch the surface of all the pain and suffering I have felt. Why do I share this with you????
Every single moment in my life has served a purpose. I have been given the GIFT of experiencing all of these tragedies so that I can serve the people around me. I have been given the gift of experiencing these things but I have not been burdened with remembering the pain itself. I can only remember the lesson in and of itself.
My super power is that of offering shifts of perspective…I can help heal people simply by offering them perspectives on how their own pain is serving a purpose.
My teenage pregnancy (I was on birth control btw) was to carry me through my upcoming darkest hour, my Mother’s death has made me the strong independent woman I am now and also allowed for my breakthrough moment at 39 years old (the age she was at her death), my ex-husbands affair taught me how to love myself. Every single moment in my life has served as a lesson…here’s the catch though…I think some of these lessons are meant for you!!!
There is a reason you are reading this…there are no coincidences. I believe I am a healer…I can help those who are feeling lost. It is through my story that you or someone you know will heal.
The beauty industry has allowed me to connect with hundreds if not thousands of people. It is my platform. Not only do I absorb my own stories to use in your healing process but I am able to use the stories from so many of the people I work with to serve others as well.
My super power is shape shifting…shifting the shape of your perspective.
I would love to help you break through the obstacle you are currently dealing with. Contact me. Allow my pain to serve as a purpose of breaking through all of your barriers. Share this with your tribe. Let us not waste pain!!!
By the way, I have a whole new appreciation for snow!!!