Fake it until you become it in Pleasantville

This thought came after thinking about the TedTalk “Power Poses” by Amy Cudy.  If you haven’t seen it make a point to watch it (after you’ve finished reading this beautiful little piece of enlightenment of course) To watch this video click here

Amy Cudy talks about a personal experience in which she was involved in a terrible car accident that left her with major head trauma.  As a result, her IQ had dropped substantially.  This was a huge deal for her as she had always been identified as gifted so she felt that her identity had been stripped away.  Many of her professors and loved ones had basically told her that should rethink her career goals because “it just wasn’t going to happen for her”.  Thankfully she was incredibly strong-willed and kept on her path in spite of her set back.  Although it took her twice as long as it took her colleagues to get through school she did it!  Nearing the end of her education she had to do a talk in front of a group of  people and fear was telling her that she couldn’t do it…That she was “not supposed to be here”  When she approached her professor about backing out her professor basically said “oh hell no, you’re going to do that talk…you are going to fake it and then you are going to take every single talk you can and keep faking it until you realize you’re not faking it anymore and you are just doing it”.  After years go by and now she is teaching, one of her students approaches her and says “I can’t do this..I’m not supposed to be here”…This was a very emotional moment for Amy because she realized that she didn’t feel that way anymore.  So she basically told the girl “oh hell no, you ARE supposed to be here…tomorrow you are going to come to class and you are going to give the best comment”  and the girl did.  So basically what both of these women did was they faked it until they became it.  That is so powerful!!!  This is something that I have been practicing for a while now however I am taking it to the next level.

The past few months have been filled with such tragedy.  It seems to be happening constantly.  A few years ago I gave up watching the news because I realized that it just made me sad.  Then I found myself using the phrase “ignorance is bliss” very often.  I totally believe that to be true.  So, what if we just faked the entire life we wanted to live until it BECAME the entire life that we wanted to live.  What if you basically lived your life with blinders on?  You didn’t even consider the outside world even for a second.  What would happen?  Well, first thing that would happen is you would start attracting people who had those same sort of philosophies.  The second thing is that all of the people that were against those philosophies either begin to change their philosophies because you’ve inspired them or they drop out of your life. Sure they will think that you have become some kind of asshole but guess what you have those blinders on so you don’t see a damn thing.  Half of the battle is won at that point.  Here is an example…I want to live in a world were everyone is compassionate, kind, and empowering.  I want to live in a world where everything is beautiful.  Where I am not judged for carrying a few extra pounds..where it is ok that the house is not spotless all of the time..where people won’t label me a drunk if I have a glass of wine (or two) with lunch.  A world where everything I want is acceptable.  Well I think that world can and does exist.  The more and more I make these decisions that this is how I want to live my life the more and more it happens.  Here is an example…I see people making ignorant comments on Facebook that do not align with the perfect little “Pleasantville” that I live in…I unfollow or un-friend them….bam..they no longer exist in “My World”.  I patron a restaurant that does not treat all sexes, creeds, religions, and nationalities equally…I leave and take my business to a place that does.  I only visit the places that align with my core values, wear clothes that look phenomenal on me,  eat foods that I love, talk to people that make me want to be better, read books that make me smile and grow my mind, watch television that touches my soul and makes me happy.  I make a clear concise decision to do what makes me happy and a better version of myself.   So let’s just say that the love of my life makes a decision that affects both of us that does not align with my philosophies…well there are 3 options but all 3 of them come from us communicating respectfully with one another.  I explain to him how the decision he made makes me feel…based on that conversation we make a compromise and back to pleasantville we go.  The second is that he explains to me the reasons behind his decision and how it makes him feel…we make a compromise and back to Pleasantville we go.  3rd and finally is that we both explain how we feel we realize that neither one of us is wiling to compromise…I ask myself “is this something that I can deal with for the rest of my life”???  “Am I wiling to align myself to his way of thinking”?  If yes, back to Pleasantville we go and I never look back because I made that decision OR I make the decision that I am not wiling to be part of this decision and back to Pleasantville I go, alone.  We have choices in every possible situation that we face.  Then we have the choice on how we react to it.  There is absolutely no such thing as finding happiness….only choosing it!